Susan Meets Sabastian for the First Time

Susan Meets Sabastian for the First Time
by Reuben Gregg Brewer


Jane Angle pulled her daughter Susan hastily by the arm. They were heading to Jane's heroin dealer, a trip they made frequently of late.

The first time was the hardest for Susan, but she weathered the trauma in stride. She didn't cry or fight, she simply accepted what was happening. At first it was painful, but then she just went numb.

Her mother had long ago taught her that it was pointless to fight. It was pointless to complain. It was pointless to do anything except what she was told to do.

This led her into a secret world, an imaginary world. Susan lived mostly in her mind, it was the only place where she was safe. It was the only place where she was happy.

For a while her mother tried to clean up. She lived at home for a few months when Susan was very young before running away again. Still, for a little while things were better. After running away, Jane was working in a tattoo parlor and stayed clean for almost a year. The owners of the parlor were especially fond of Susan.

During this good spell, Susan learned a great deal. Basic reading and writing skills, and a little math. She was actually very intelligent, smarter than anyone gave her credit for because she seldom spoke and didn't appear to care about much of anything.

But none of this mattered today. Her mother was taking her to Rawl's pad for heroin. That was Jane's choice of drug and she had already proven that she would do anything to get it. And anything was going to happen again today.

When they arrived, Rawl let them in saying, "Back again, Jane? You were just here a couple of days ago."

Jane ignored him, saying, "You know what I want."

"Yeah, and you know what I want."

"Yeah," Jane said pulling Susan out from behind her. "Give me the stuff."

Rawl gave a little chuckle, smiled, and went to get the heroin. While he was gone, Jane got down on her knees and said, "Honey, you know mommy loves you. She needs you to help her like you did before. You know how sick mommy gets when she doesn't have her medicine."

When Rawl returned, Jane forgot all about her daughter. The only thing that mattered to her was the drugs Rawl was about to give her.

Rawl could see the desire in Jane's eyes as he handed her the small bag. She was in bad shape and would do anything to feed her addiction. Rawl knew it and she knew it.

At first he made Jane have sex with him, but that grows old quickly when your partner sleeps through the act. So then he asked to take photos of Susan. Jane hesitated, but her addiction won out.

She watched him take the photos the first few times, took the drugs, and left. But then Rawl demanded that she take the drugs at his place. She did as he said and Rawl photographed her daughter while Jane was in a heroin stupor. The photos taken this way were different, but Susan never said anything.

Like the other times Jane got what she wanted and hurried into a corner. Susan and Rawl sat on the bed and watched as Jane pulled out her 'works' and prepared the heroin for injection. It always ended the same, after sticking herself in her well tracked arm, Jane barely managed to untie her arm before relaxing into her heroin refuge. The needle was still sticking out of her arm.

With a kind voice, Rawl told Susan that she knew what to do, as he helped her take off her clothing. That was when Susan disappeared, leaving only s shell.

Susan didn't even feel the pain and couldn't hear Rawl's grunts. All that existed was the light. She simply looked into the light and drifted away.

This time, though, was different. Normally she existed alone in her world, but this time she was not alone. There was a man sitting next to her, smiling at her.

He was tall and pale. Thin, but rugged looking. To Susan he looked like a superhero, even though he was dressed all in black, the color of bad guys.

He stood up and moved his lips, but there was no sound in Susan's world. Susan knew that he wanted her to follow him, so she did.

They walked in the light for a long time, the man moving his lips and Susan simply understanding what was being said. The man told her stories about olden times, about people, places, and things. He taught her and loved her for her, and she loved him for him.

In the end, they walked back to where they began and sat down. The man smiling at Susan and then fading away as the real world came back into focus.

Susan had this same vision for weeks, but only when they visited Rawl during the day. The stories were always new, but the man was the same.

After about a month of this, though, it began to change. The man was no longer happy, he was sad and angry. Not at Susan, but something was wrong and Susan could sense it. Now when it was time for him to leave, the man shed a single red tear before fading away.

This change lasted for about a month, too. Susan would only see the man during day visits and he would shed a blood red tear as he left. The difference was the man's mounting anger. He never voiced his anger or showed it in any way other than the tear. Susan simply felt it. The man was aware that she knew.

Then, one visit, as the two of them were walking back to where their time together began, Susan stopped. The man turned and looked at Susan with his head tilted to one side.

"Why are you so sad and so angry," she said out loud.

Rawl stopped, Susan had never spoken during the act before. He looked at her, but it was obvious she wasn't talking to him.

"You know why I am angry," Susan said in a mock male voice, but it was the man in her world that actually spoke the words.

Rawl looked over at Jane, crumpled on the floor, and then back at Susan. He dismounted her.

"I can make this stop if you want," the man continued.

"I know you can, but I’m afraid."

"You have nothing to fear from me."

Rawl had gotten dressed and stood motionless watching Susan have this conversation. He figured the girl was crazy or possessed.

"I know," Susan answered, "but who will take care of me after?"

"You know that I will take care of you."

"Who will take care of my mother?"

"I will give her the peace she longs for."

"I will be sad when she is gone."

Rawl's eyes were wide as he listened. He went over to Jane and attempted to wake her up. "Wake up! You need to get the hell out of here," he yelled at Jane as he shook her.

"As you should be child. But you know it is for the better. That is why you called on me. That is why I have come to you."

"Yes," Susan said, "it's time to say goodbye."

That evening, Sabastian looked in the mirror and found a single red line running down his face. "Again," he said as he wiped the dried tear away.

He didn't remember anything from his dream, but he felt a deep desire to feed. It was stronger than he had felt in decades. It overpowered him, but it was not the bloodlust. It was something else.

[Copyright Reuben Gregg Brewer, 2004. All rights reserved.]